If it can’t be fixed with whiskey, zip ties, or duct tape..

becausekendra:

It can’t be fixed.

(via phokinggoku)

(via xorenette)

My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?”, I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: “You’ve won my trust”……. Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car.

melissaimani:

 

LMAO

(via dontgetittwistedbaby)

(via sch-waggie)

sometimes I wish i just had friends
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